I have a close friend (I'll call her Sandy) whose 19 year old daughter is unmarried and pregnant. Sandy's situation with her daughter is quite a bit different than mine was with Chelsea. Even though our situations are different, Sandy and I have found a lot of common ground in sharing our feelings about our daughters' pregnancies and our granddaughters' adoptions. It has brought up a lot of memories and feelings, and made them very fresh again. I so understand how she is feeling. I understand her fears, her hurt, and her frustration. I remember well the similar feelings that I had, and how intense they were.
I talked Sandy into attending group counseling at the adoption agency. Her daughter is doing the adoption through the same agency as Chelsea did. There's group counseling for parents of the birth parents (a birth grandparent group). I went to a couple of sessions with Sandy recently. Back three years ago, when I was going through it all, I loved attending those group sessions. I gained so much from hearing what others were feeling and experiencing. It made me feel less alone. It gave me strength and support. I especially enjoyed it when people would come in who had made it to the other side, and lived to tell about it. It made me realize that I could do it, too. It made me feel that I was going to make it, and eventually it would all work out. Now, as I have been attending the group again with Sandy, I have been able to be that person who has made it to the other side. I get to mentor some of the others who are scared, and worried, and wondering if they can make it through. I can give them some of the wisdom I gained, and help them see that it can all be okay.
If I was a little younger, and I would go back to school and get a degree in social work so that I could be an adoption case worker. I love my teaching job, but I think I would love being involved in the adoption process. Every time I go to the agency, I find myself wanting to be more involved in helping birth parents and birth grandparents like me. I believe in the miracle of adoption. I have seen such miracles from our own experience. I want to share that. That is why I write this blog, and that is why I would be an adoption case worker, if I could. But, it's a little too late for me to do that. Maybe in another life.